Ponderisms

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until,
I found out that most people die of natural causes.

Garden Rule:
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed
not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out easily it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously.
Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days
no one talks about UFO's like they used to?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forrest fire,
but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that Chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.'

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Why doesn't the glue stick to the inside of the bottle?